Boiled Blog

Written Film-Script-Poem

2008-07-07T01:29:00.007+01:00

When I want you to know something so you to know what it is. I have been writing a film-script in a poem for two weeks and this is it..

"The Poem film"

(Beginning)..

orange table night and windmill

sardine on wall

piano looking

here comes

television turtle house.

(Middle)...

Television Turtle House: "Sharon and Stacy
Are pigs"

Windmill: "I hate that."

Television Turtle House (holding rockets): "This is this." (suddenly he goes in the air to the shop).

Windmill: "Ha Ha."

Television Turtle House is back

through window

with a tea-cake

(everyone has a party) oh.

Ending...

Sharon and Stacy

Become train drivers

They know how

The turtle

Can see

Them

In the morning the door falls down
And the sardine drops off the wall.

The End

Very Tired After Writing Song

2008-06-19T02:41:00.002+01:00

I want you to know how tired I am after writing a song for two days, you can sing it to people...

'Tea Far Away'

see boat

with ant captain

driving about

...........

robert and brenda

are fat cows

...........

(chorus)

far tea

far tea

captain far tea ant

...........

robert and brenda

are sailors

...........

drive now

to go

ant and boat cow

Very Tired After Poem

2008-06-14T00:52:00.003+01:00

Hello. I am very tired after writing this poem all day, and I want you to know what it is...

'Citrus Citrus'

citrus pips

throw your pip

at the citrus

...............

catch a bus

to throw your pip

at citrus

:::::::::::::::

throw your hair

at the bear

...............

say to ginger bus

and throw your pip

at some citrus

Music For Jack

2008-06-10T23:26:00.002+01:00

I want you to know and for Jack to know that this is a music video I've made for King Jack the Parrot who has had a strange time lately in Australia. I have been learning to play music with a local musician and we've made this to help Jack feel better...

Being In Grass

2008-05-12T21:48:00.001Z

This is a day when I looked with Little Belmattron..

The Visitors

2008-05-10T00:31:00.001Z

This film is classified top secret so don't tell anyone about it. Ssshhhhh.

Know Mind

2008-04-11T22:31:00.004Z

BoiledEggInADeckchair: Hello salt.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: I want you to know what I will say to you.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: I will say to you that I know what you know because I can read your mind.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: Oh yes I can.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: You're thinking you want me to know that I don't know what you know.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: I've already proved it.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: No I'm not delusional, you are.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: I already know what Richard Dawkins thinks.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: He wants me to know I'm not doing this and I want him to know he can get stuffed but he thought he said that when I did.

Salt:

BoiledEggInADeckchair: Yes he did, he used all of his head.

Control

2008-01-08T00:57:00.000Z

I can control things with my teapot. Sometimes I say to my friend Perriette "I want you to know, Perriette, I am controlling you with my teapot and I want you to have a proper shave for once." Then she does.

Balloon

2007-12-26T03:30:00.000Z

I want you to know that I had a strange Christmas and have been hiding for a while but this film will explain everything unless when you see it and you don't know what to know. How do I know.

Week

2007-11-13T02:57:00.000Z

I am saying to you that I have eaten a page out of my diary and I must disappear for a week because I ate this week.

I will be back unless I eat more pages.

Return In The Park

2007-11-11T19:55:00.000Z

I want you to see by looking at this film that I am saying to you that I know I have returned from space and you will know it too when you see this film because I landed in a park not far from where I live...

Ground Control To BoiledEggInADeckchair

2007-11-06T01:12:00.000Z

I want you to know that I want to say what I am saying now.. I have found a corner in space where I'm posting this to my blog by using my mind (without a teapot) and saying this at the same time. The view is good and Timothy Leary floats by quite often. I've been writing a poem about it..

Dossed In Space

We're all floating
All around
It's like boating
Above the ground.

They call it space
And I see why
(It's a big place)
Not like a pie.

Space is round
And bent
There is sound
But no cement.

Dreaming

2007-10-11T19:34:00.000Z

I don't know if I'm dreaming about fishing or dancing about dreaming, only the Magic Cog knows the truth.

Thinking With Bruce

2007-09-16T23:10:00.000Z

Bruce said he was thinking about thinking and what it was. I said I like thinking too, except on Tuesdays. He said it was difficult to see thinking, but thought it was a hairy house that buries bones in it's back garden. But he did'nt know what town it was in.

I told Bruce I thought only the hairy house would know where it lived, but only when it was thinking about itself.

We decided to both think together about thinking so we might hear it thinking, and find out where it was.

We thought we heard something, but thought we might have just thought it. Then we heard it again, but were'nt sure if it was a memory.

Tricky Sky

2007-09-02T16:34:00.000Z

I should think the sky is made of invisible plums that walk about on stilts, and the clouds are the tables where they have their dinner. The plums paint themselves blue so we can see them, and they talk to us in a way that cannot be heard.

"BoiledEggInADeckchair, are you dreaming about us?" asked an invisible plum.
"I can't hear you, so I can't say if I am or not," I replied.
"We are having some sandwiches on the clouds, you can have one if you like."
"Oh. Okay then."
They gave me a curly piss sandwich and laughed at me. They should'nt mess about with sandwiches because it's too serious, and I don't imagine apricots would behave like that.

Ghosts Are Real

2007-08-23T18:15:00.000Z

This photo shows what an Australian ghost looks like and proves they exist and that they are nearly as scary as living Australians. It said...

"Gidday yer pommie cobba bastard, I don't wanna piss in yer pocket but it's been hard yakka since I karked and I ain't no Fred nerk I'm fair dinkum and full as a boot."
"Pardon?" I said.
"Yeah I can't hop into the grub for a snag any more and me apricots are jaked but I hav'nt seen any white pointers anyway phwwooaaahhh I just cut the dog in half and ripped me freckle..." etc etc.

It was speaking an unusual language and had a ballon and pisses 'amber' whilst it flies around.

My New World

2007-08-19T20:52:00.000Z

Today I found some new planets in town, then I decided to live on one on a part-time basis. I'm going to call it Boris and visit it when I need a break.

Here I'm telling Boris that I control it now and I will be sight-seeing and relaxing occasionally.

"I'M ON TOP OF THE WORRRRLLLLLD AND IT'S ALL MINE!!!!

I CONTROL BORIS!!!!"

Ginger Rage

2007-08-16T01:57:00.000Z

'Hello," I said "I like your face."

"I thought it was a ginger biscuit. Some people call them ginger nuts, I expect you've seen them."

"I imagine you like a big ginger beer sometimes.. Oh well I better go now, I need to buy some ginger-bread men."

I can't seem to talk to some people these days without upsetting them.

Teapot Power

2007-08-14T15:58:00.000Z

I was looking at a sign that was looking at me.

"Hello here there and everywhere," said a voice behind me.
"Teapot Me it's you!" I replied.
"I want you to know," he continued "that I want to talk and say to you and tell you something by saying it to you when I'm talking."
"Oh good."

"I will demonstrate what Teapot Power is capable of by saying the Special Words," he said.
"Hurry up then," I replied.

"BRING THE POWER OUT
STUFF IT UP A SPOUT
BLOW IT IN THE AIR
STUFF IT EVERYWHERE!!!" he shouted. "Now, look at the sign and see what it says."

"That is a wonderful power, Teapot Me!" I exclaimed.
"Yes it is mighty indeed. Now I must rest for a day and a night.. farewell," and he was gone. I went inside and shouted "TEAPOT POWER!!!" and kept doing what the sign said until they threw me out.

Emergency

2007-08-11T02:31:00.000Z

I don't fly any more because the last time I did the stewardess said to me..
"I can make your seat higher." But I thought she said "I have started a fire."
"OH NO!!" I replied.
I decided the best thing to do was open the door and fly away, so I did.

I could only fly downwards and I crashed through the roof of the Accident & Emergency Egg Hospital, which was lucky except my deckchair was bent.

In The Sky

2007-08-03T18:29:00.000Z

I was relaxing on holiday a couple of weeks ago, minding my own business, when I noticed something in the sky that had someone in it.
"Hello BoiledEggInADeckchair," it said.
"Hello'" I replied.
"I am The Keeper of The Gateway of Wishes."
"Oh."
"Answer three questions correctly and you win a wish that I will grant you."
"Get stuffed."
"The first question is, what do you do when you are very hungry?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. What does a chicken do before it goes in the oven?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. If you were a rabbit-hole and a fat rabbit walked in, what would you do?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. You have won a wish, what is it you want me to do for you?"
"Get stuffed."
"Very well I shall, farewell."
"AT LAST!!!"

Eye Pipe

2007-07-30T16:43:00.000Z

This is an eye pipe that makes it possible to see things that cannot be seen without it, and this person makes it possible for me to see with it.

I looked in the pipe and saw a big ball and wondered who lived on it.

"HELLOOO!!!" I shouted in the pipe.

"HELLOOO!!!" shouted a voice from the sky (it sounded like me).

My Holiday Photos

2007-07-29T00:15:00.000Z

Hello. I want you to know these are my holiday photos seeing as Perriette mentioned them. But I am not being controlled by Perriette because I control her with my teapot.

The seagulls filled the sky.

An alien crosses the road on Monday. It might have been going to work, I don't know.

Swans are'nt hairy but I like them.

There was a cat.

There was a window.

A flying tent.

A tortoise crosses the beach.

I saw the sea.

That's some of what happened whilst I was there, nothing happened at home until I got back.

Poem (iLlustratiOn fridaY)

2007-07-23T20:18:00.000Z

I hate poems and I write them sometimes. This one I wrote whilst hating it..

"The Wind Hates My Umbrella And I Hate The Wind"

'You blow your bag of wind and air
At me through an invisible pip
My umbrella is now over there
Because you hate to see me with it.

I hate you wind
I hate you.

Get stuffed."

Peaceful

2007-07-22T00:31:00.001Z

It was a peaceful day with no-one about, so I shouted
"PISS BAGS!!!".

Holiday

2007-07-05T00:50:00.000Z

I'm going on holiday to a far away place for two weeks so won't be here but elsewhere. After two weeks I won't be away any more I'll be back here. I don't know where everyone else will be or when but I expect they know about that, they can look after themselves. If you are not them you can't be me, so I don't know who you are but I hope you do. Thank you.

Night Hawks

2007-07-04T00:18:00.000Z

When the moon is full (I don't know what with) I sit in The Sacred Seat and call upon The Bird Spirits..

"Hixum trixum
Hear me call
From head to bum
To one and all."

Then suddenly they appeared inside my mind.

"We are here
Have no doubt
And it's clear
We're far out."

I replied in the traditional way...

"I do find
Upon this moonlit night
You are kind
To wear your hat of shite."

Bubbles

2007-07-01T23:40:00.000Z

One of my favourite ways to relax is to hide behind a glass of water and think about it. I wrote a poem doing this once...

"I can hear what the water thinks
And I think that I will find
It's me who's thinking in the drinks
With the bubbles of my mind."

Baby Sitting

2007-07-01T23:05:00.000Z

"You great big baby, I want you to know that you're not the one who controls me because I'M the one who contro.." **POW**

Know And Not Know

2007-07-01T19:47:00.001Z

There was a cuckoo in the newspaper today, and I said in my mind "You might be looking at me but I want you to know I know you don't know what I'm thinking about."
"You're thinking about me," it said.
"Oh."

Song

2007-06-28T00:01:00.000Z

"Oi," said a voice "I have gone around the bend (of the teapot) to be here and see you there."
"Teapot Me I see you there and wonder why you're here," I replied.

"It is time," he said "for me to sing the Teapot Song to you."
I looked at him and he did nothing, so I fell asleep. Then he began to sing...

"I come from a distant place
It's where I have my dinner
You must be off your face
To see me in the inner.

I am you as Teapot Me
And we are me and you
If you'd like a cup of tea
Then we could have one too.

I often talk a lot of shite
When saying what I think and do.. yo
I stuffed my teapot up a pipe
And blew it out the window."

I woke up and blew out the window *pffft* then fell asleep again.

Camouflage (illustration friday)

2007-06-23T01:48:00.000Z

On Wednesdays I become a master of disguise and secretly practice my art. This time I completely camouflaged myself in a park, then I shouted..

"I AM A TREE AND I WANT SQUIRRELS UP ME!!!"

People completely ignored me which proved it worked.

Not Here

2007-06-19T01:37:00.000Z

I know where I am but I don't want other people to know, so I shouted..
"I'M NOT HERE I AM IN LIVERPOOL!!"
Then I changed my mind..
"I'M MOVING TO REYKJAVIC!!"

I closed my eyes as my mind travelled to Reykjavic by boat, knowing no-one knew where I was because I was out of my mind using an ancient mind technique called Teapot Power.

"I AM THE MASTER OF TEAPOT POWER!!"

"NO-ONE CAN SEE ME!!!"

Message

2007-06-16T21:38:00.000Z

"Hello," said a voice as I looked in the teapot, and the voice continued "I have travelled to you from a parallel teapot universe with a message."
"You're Teapot Me with a message," I said.
"I know and I want you to know what the message is, the message is this, this is the message, this message is this, I've forgotten what the message is, the message is I've forgotten it. Now I must leave you."

It was a lot to remember but I did my best and it's helped me ever since.

Holiday Photo

2007-06-16T21:08:00.000Z

This person was on holiday and wanted his photo taken with a typical local person as a souvenir, so I suggested myself then showed him a local wall that's good for sight-seeing. Then I sang to him by shouting..

I'M WALKING IN THE AIRRRR
IT'S GOOD TO GET ABOUT
THEN I BLOW EVERYWHERRRRE
AND *pffff... ...ffffftt* BLOW IT ALL OUT!!!"

I offered him a guided tour of fences and walls but he said he had to go.

Orders

2007-06-16T00:46:00.000Z

I was shown where the menu was before I ordered and said, "I only want the jacket potato if it's got it's trousers on and the chef must have his on too. I would also like to order a pint of cappucinno without a cap, and after that I will have a chocolate cack. Thank you my good man."

Having A Laugh

2007-06-15T23:40:00.000Z

"So anyway," I continued "here's another one of my jokes...
Who is the world's smallest detective?
... Molecule Poirot!!
AAAAHH HAA HAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"You get it? Instead of Hercule Poirot it's MOLECULE Poirot... HHAAAAA HOO... a molecule is very small WOOOAAAAAHHHH HAAAAA HA HAAAAARRGGHH!!!!!!!"

Newspaper

2007-06-15T21:25:00.000Z

I was reading about The Velvet Underground and found out they were'nt made of velvet, and it also said the underground was'nt under the ground.

I don't know if I should believe the newspaper sometimes.
"Shut up," I said "you big wind-bag of lies.. you're not news or made of paper and ANYONE CAN SEE THAT!!!"

Telephone

2007-06-15T10:11:00.000Z

"Hello, I don't know where my deckchair is," I said.
"Who is this?" asked someone.
"This is BoiledEggInADeckChair. Who are you?"
"This is MI6, hold the line a moment whilst I put you through to someone.... .... ....Hello, this is MI6 Deckchair Department, it appears you've lost your deckchair."
"Yes I know. Can you tell me where it is?"
"No it's a secret, but if you find it then let us know and we'll tell you where it is because it won't be a secret anymore."
"That sounds like a good idea, thank you."

Spinning Tunes

2007-06-13T16:41:00.000Z

"Yo DJ," I said "I have travelled to yo from the other side (of the dance floor) word up. CAN YOU HEAR ME!!?? I think that you think you can control people's thinking with your dial controls."

"But I want you to know that it's me who controls you, so if you don't spin 'Black Betty' by The Ram Jam Band on your decks I'll drink your beer and piss up your T-shirt."

He said "spin on this" and suddenly I spun...

...until the inside of my mind travelled to the other side, and then it went up the chimney and into the night sky, and I began to sing...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE OUTSIDE
OF MY MIND HAS GONE
I THINK IT WANTS TO HIDE
AND SOUND LIKE A GONG
GONE WRONG."

"WRONG GONG RON!!!

LONG GONE GONG!!!!

DING DONG BONG!!!!!!"

Doctor In The House

2007-06-11T01:24:00.000Z

On Tuesdays I open my free doctor's surgery on a bench in town.
"Doctor BoiledEggInADeckChair, my knee has been breaking wind since you ***ppfft*** operated on my elbow," said this patient.
"You mean your knee farts?" I asked.
"Yes ***pppfffft*** it does," he replied.
"Was that your knee?"
"No that was me... ***PPPFFFFFTT*** ..but that was my knee."
"Mmmmm I see."

"Well," I said "I think you should know what I want you to know, and what I want you to know is this.. you must stay away from me for ten years and wear a space suit."
"***PPPFFFFTT*** oh no," he replied.
"Yes, and I'll write a prescription for your space suit, it's a National Health one so don't go to space in it or you'll die."
"Okay doc if you say so ***PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTT***."

"I'M HEALING THE SICK AND MENDING THE LAME
THEY FART AND THEY CLICK AND I AM TO BLAME
AAARRRGG HA HAAAAA," I shouted.

These two where impressed by my medical skill I could tell.

'Suit' (illuStratiOn friDay)

2007-06-10T19:22:00.000Z

Superman's suit was'nt meant
To go and blow away
Now he'll be Clark Kent
Every Saturday
And Wednesday
Monday
Oneday
Sunday
Funday
Friday
Whyday
Thursday
Purrsday
Tuesday
Boozeday
Bogday
Frogday
Clogday
Cogday
Blogday
Whatday
Whereday
Whenday
Howday
Wowday
Dogday
Godday
Goodday
Gidday
Midday (Midway)
Bidet
Bigday
Wigday
Payday
Mayday
Sayday
Playday
Awayday
Heyday
Legday
Pegday
Fugday
Tugday
Chugday
Hugday.

"Oh bugga," he said.

YouR paRadise (illustratIon friDay)

2007-06-03T21:49:00.000Z

I don't know what your paradise is but mine is when I relax so much I fall asleep and fall out of my deckchair to dream. The daisies appeared and said something...
"Hello BoiledEggInADeckchair, we know you're dreaming about us talking to you."
"Yes I am," I said "and I want you to know that I'm going to sing to you...

I can see the daisies
They're standing in the breeze
I can hear the daisies
And want to break their kness"

I don't know what they thought because I fell asleep in the dream and dreamt about Harold Pinter and dung heaps instead.

Cars (illustratiOn fridaY)

2007-05-28T23:03:00.000Z

This is the first car made in Britain in 1865. Queen Victoria used to drive it in Royal Parades until she dug up all the roads.

Nowadays it's used for Roadworker's Parades where a worker parades in the same place he did last week.

"DIG IT MAN!!!" I shouted. He said he would ****ing dig me if I did'nt **** off (which Queen Victoria said to the crowds).

I've Been Tagged

2007-05-24T00:10:00.000Z

"Hello," said a voice.
I looked and saw myself in a teapot.
"I come," it continued "from a parallel teapot universe to yours and I have to tell you seven weird things about yourself."
"Go on then," I said.

"Number Seven..
You were boiled in a saucepan by Arkan Barkum in a secret way on a Tuesday.

Number Four..
You talk to yourself in a teapot.

Number One..
You hav'nt got a hole.

Number Five..
You think a cuckoo is a coot and a coot thinks you're a cuckoo.

Number Three..
You posted a book about Leonardo Da Vinci to him because you coloured-in his drawings and wanted to know what he thought, and he wrote back and told you.

Number Two..
You invented clip-on planets but left them on a bus (a big bus).

Number Six..
You once made a kaleidoscope out of a dead cat."

I said "Teapot Me, I want you to know I'm looking at you looking at me and I know you know that I know you know I know that."

I was tagged by Perriette and am supposed to tag seven other people but I won't because I don't know seven other people plus I WILL NEVER BE CONTROLLED BY ANYONE!!!!!

Communication

2007-05-22T23:41:00.000Z

I fell asleep and accidently made the phone ring. Someone picked it up so I said..
"Hello. I am the chief of the Weh Thu-Foo Kawii Tribe. We don't know where we are."
WEH THU-FOO KAWII!!!!????"
Then I woke up without knowing where the Weh Thu-foo Kawii are.

Signs (Illustration fridaY)

2007-05-19T20:14:00.000Z

Today I went whale-spotting in town. One of the sure signs of a whale is when it blows water with it's blow-hole.
"WHERE ARE YOU!!??" I shouted, "YOU CAN"T HIDE FROM ME.. I KNOW YOU'RE SOMEWHERE!!!"

Bird Spotting

2007-05-17T23:22:00.000Z

"BLOW YER CUCKOO
YER BIG FAT COOT!!!".. I shouted...

"...THROW YER COCKATOO
AT A CLOCK OR TWO!!!"

"... STUFF YER BEAK
UP A PARAKEET !!!!"

I looked at it and it said nothing.

I shouted
"I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I WANT TO THROW
MY DECKCHAIR AT YO
BUT I AM ASLEEP-O
YOU DUCK-FACED BAT!!!!"

It was time to go home so I did.
"You don't control me I CONTROL YOU!!!

'Neighbour' (Illustration friday)

2007-05-07T18:52:00.000Z

Mrs Abercrombie
Walks around the floor
She's become a zombie
And can't find the door.

If you (Mrs Abercrombie) had a turtle
It could be your friend
You could call it Myrtle
And go around the bend.

'Remember' (Illustration Friday)

2007-04-30T20:56:00.000Z

Cuckoo

Hello

Shut up

Look

sor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_bD9kpNxg9l8/RjZYPefq6BI/AAAAAAAAAVM/sZDH5DBvqFg/s320/BoiledEggRemember.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5059328254304512018" />

(He can't remember everything).

Big And Hairy

2007-04-27T01:00:00.000Z

Today someone looked at me and I shouted
"BIG HAIRY CUCKOO!!!"

Fast

2007-04-02T21:21:00.000Z

This road travels at 65,000 miles-an-hour through space. I sent an email to NASA telling them the sign is wrong and still nothing has been done about it.

The Underworld

2007-04-02T19:37:00.000Z

This is the entrance to The Underworld.

The people inside told me they live in a world of never-ending darkness because they ate the light-bulb.

Water

2007-04-02T00:41:00.000Z

I fish without a line because I don't eat fish. I sing to them instead..

"I see you fish
You're not my dish
You're full of pish
Laaa la-laaa
Big fat pish."

This water is good for relaxing and sight-seeing (I fell asleep and could see what I saw).

Magic Twigs

2007-03-19T18:39:00.000Z

Sometimes I go to The Place Of Magic Twigs

and I cover myself with them

then I dream about The Red Tree...

"I am The Red Tree. What do you want?"
"I want to listen to you sing."
"Okay then."

(Sings)..

"I dreamt a dream about a turtle
Living in a lovely way
Then I picked it up and hurtled
It across the motorway
Hey hey."

"Did you like that?" asked The Red Tree.
"Yes very much, thank you," I replied.

Then I usually wake up somewhere like a shop (I don't know why) and shake hands with people.

Theatrical

2007-03-08T02:01:00.000Z

Here I saw William Shakespeare with his friends shopping in Ikea for a bed, it was the worst play I've ever seen.

Shiny

2007-03-07T22:48:00.000Z

Here someone suspends balls in a line and blows a horn at them, there's nothing else to do on Monday evenings.

The World

2007-03-04T01:40:00.000Z

This is me with Steptoe and Son calculating how far away the world is, and we wonder if anyone can see us.

Dalek

2007-03-02T21:12:00.000Z

It looks for Dr Who whilst I look at it's can-opener.

Sticks

2007-03-02T19:41:00.000Z

This man rubs two sticks together to make fire (I watch to see if he sets his head alight).

Out Of Control

2007-02-28T00:30:00.000Z

Here I took a bend too fast and skidded off-road towards the daffodils.

I hurtle out of control across the horizon as the flowers loom before me.

An early bloom shouts "MANIAC!" as I speed through. I reply "I'M LIVING ON THE EDGE!"

My deckchair hit a pebble and landed in the daffodils (but I don't know where).

Nails

2007-02-26T01:56:00.000Z

I complimented this person's nails, (I said if I had a hammer I'd hit them).

Think

2007-02-22T01:52:00.000Z

Sometimes I hide from people (and think).

My mind knows they are there but their's don't know my mind is here, but they don't mind because their's don't know my mind knows where their's are (they are in their minds and I am out of mine).

Eat It

2007-02-21T21:21:00.000Z

Bread is the staff of life. I cut it's head off.

Then I ate it.

Pan

2007-02-21T21:02:00.000Z

I said her hummus looked like sick, so she relocated me.

Heroes

2007-02-21T20:56:00.000Z

These are my heroes (especially Meringue).

Restaurant

2007-02-17T11:38:00.000Z

The waiter shows me to my table. "HURRY HURRY I am very HUNGRY".

I am shown the big chips, they're today's Special. "YES YES boil the chips!!"

Elephant Ride

2007-02-17T10:54:00.000Z

The elephants can't see me because they use their memories (and hav'nt met me before).

Map

2007-02-15T12:33:00.000Z

I tell these two I can control them with my map. If they don't do what I command, I'll make them get lost (they think about this).

Ball

2007-02-15T02:40:00.000Z

This person said he saw me in his crystal ball yesterday (but I knew I would'nt fit in it and neither would yesterday).

Bubbles

2007-02-15T01:52:00.000Z

Here someone tells me she thinks in bubbles and keeps them on straws.

I don't know what to think (but I think they know what I think).

Snow

2007-02-09T02:40:00.000Z

The snow fell then it stood up.

Below

2007-02-09T02:15:00.000Z

These people found the Earth below the pavement, then they started to put it above the pavement. I told them we'll all get crushed.

Cogday

2007-02-07T03:05:00.000Z

A poem about cognition...

"Blow on Monday
Cogday and
Fatbag trumpet day
(Blow yer fat cog)."

Sign

2007-02-06T01:21:00.000Z

I'm wearing my sock here. Someone looks at a building, and a red 'no entry' sign looks at me from across the street. I tell it I don't want to enter.

The sign dos'nt know what I'm thinking so why should it look at me like that?

Hello

2007-02-06T00:45:00.000Z

It's polite to greet people as they pass by, and it makes us feel connected.

Round (OOOOO)

2007-02-04T03:44:00.000Z

This is me in the circles of my mind (I'm going around the bend).

Feathery

2007-02-03T20:49:00.000Z

Here I came face to face with a Feather Merchant. It wanted my cotton-reel and we struggled, but I eventually over-powered it (not my cotton-reel, the Feather Merchant) and balance was restored.

Marmite

2007-02-03T20:36:00.000Z

Sometimes I eat Marmite and contemplate things. The lid is a circle.

Sailing Ships

2007-01-30T21:33:00.000Z

The man in yellow is a sailor looking at his fish (he dos'nt look at ships anymore).

This ship has blue sails and ignores traffic lights.

Disguise

2007-01-30T20:53:00.000Z

One of my hobbies is to be a Master Of Disguise. Here the lion dos'nt get me because I look like a tree.

Spiders

2007-01-30T19:40:00.000Z

This is me in The Land Of The Spiders where I've fallen and am trapped, then I hit them with my deckchair.

Poem

Spider
**WHACK WHACK**
Fishing nets
**WHACK WHACK**

Circle

2007-01-29T23:00:00.000Z

Here I am relaxing in The Circle Of Consciousness where my mind does something (I don't know what it is).

Then this happens. It feels like I'm wearing a clip-on planet and riding a melon bare-back to the shop (but looks different). What happens in the shop is a secret.

Throw It

2007-01-29T20:18:00.000Z

**THROW OUT THE WINDOW** (hit wall).

**THROW AT MEDITERRANEAN VEGETABLES** (I don't know what they are).

**THROW OUT THE WINDOW** (hit neck).

Looking At The 5th Dimension

2007-01-28T23:13:00.000Z

The Byrds are a good band but they don't look like a cuckoo or a cockatoo.

Favourite Band

2007-01-28T22:44:00.000Z

This is my favourite band. They did'nt seem to say much and just looked past me, maybe they were having a battery-acid trip.

Lion

2007-01-28T22:34:00.000Z

This is me running away from a lion (I'm hidden under my parasol and my deckchair legs go *clicketty clicketty clicketty*).

Leonardo

2007-01-28T22:24:00.000Z

I bought one of his sketchbooks and coloured it in with my pencils (in two minutes). I've posted it to Leonardo da Vinci to see what he thinks.

Invisible

2007-01-28T22:02:00.000Z

I'm being shown how to draw invisible pictures in the air. Here he's using a quick cross-hatch technique.

Ghosts

2007-01-28T21:35:00.000Z

This is me thinking about ghosts and wondering what they look like.

T-Shirt

2007-01-28T20:43:00.000Z

They did'nt have this one in my size, but I bought it anyway.

Behind Me

2007-01-28T20:06:00.000Z

If you look closely you will notice a big drunk woman behind me. There were also big drunk men further behind (maybe it was a party).

Curvy Sky

2007-01-28T19:47:00.000Z

This is an example of a street with a curvy sky and suns hanging from it (they might be moons, I'm not sure).

Hiding

2007-01-28T19:25:00.000Z

Here I'm trying to hide when suddenly this happened. I like the way my parasol matches the colour of the T-shirt.

My Night Out

2007-01-27T20:57:00.000Z

This happened in this order i.e.... egg... e.g. the top picture in this post is the first one, and the bottom one is the last one.

Before leaving for a good night out, I need to look in The Bendy Mirror and play air-guitar, but on this occasion I could'nt find it (the mirror, not the air-guitar).

I saw the moon on my way out and deciced not to throw my deckchair at it.

This is me approachng the club and looking forward to a drink.

When I got inside, everyone was having a staring competition.

On my way to the bar, this person got wedged under the ceiling (and a vampire bit him).

This is me on my way to the bar again (and the vampire bites his nails).

My head was spinning, but I won a drink competition with the person on the right.

The prize was a free taxi home, but I ignored it (and the moon). I did'nt want to be contolled by them.

Historical Dream

2007-01-26T03:10:00.000Z

I had a dream about History once and this is what it looks like with my words and pictures...

'KING ANCIENT'

"Book written by old Balenuts
On clip-on crill
Cook Wortleberries (not Wartleberries) near
Clip-on head

(Duck ducky) nut-berries for King Ethelred's
Clip-on dinner

King Fatsocks again
Up a pip."

Looking

2007-01-24T22:01:00.000Z

I tried to do what the badge said, but the building had a roof. Balls are looking too.

Shop

2007-01-24T21:57:00.000Z

Here's me sailing a boat over a shop counter (I landed in talismans).

In Till

2007-01-24T21:54:00.000Z

Sight-seeing is important to me. Here I've popped out for a quick look.

Looks Real

2007-01-23T19:00:00.000Z

Sometimes I wear my wig (which looks real) because it's difficult for me to grow hair. I said to this man he should get a haircut like mine.