Cars (illustratiOn fridaY)

This is the first car made in Britain in 1865. Queen Victoria used to drive it in Royal Parades until she dug up all the roads.

Nowadays it's used for Roadworker's Parades where a worker parades in the same place he did last week.

"DIG IT MAN!!!" I shouted. He said he would ****ing dig me if I did'nt **** off (which Queen Victoria said to the crowds).

I've Been Tagged

"Hello," said a voice.
I looked and saw myself in a teapot.
"I come," it continued "from a parallel teapot universe to yours and I have to tell you seven weird things about yourself."
"Go on then," I said.


"Number Seven..
You were boiled in a saucepan by Arkan Barkum in a secret way on a Tuesday.

Number Four..
You talk to yourself in a teapot.

Number One..
You hav'nt got a hole.

Number Five..
You think a cuckoo is a coot and a coot thinks you're a cuckoo.

Number Three..
You posted a book about Leonardo Da Vinci to him because you coloured-in his drawings and wanted to know what he thought, and he wrote back and told you.

Number Two..
You invented clip-on planets but left them on a bus (a big bus).

Number Six..
You once made a kaleidoscope out of a dead cat."


I said "Teapot Me, I want you to know I'm looking at you looking at me and I know you know that I know you know I know that."



I was tagged by Perriette and am supposed to tag seven other people but I won't because I don't know seven other people plus I WILL NEVER BE CONTROLLED BY ANYONE!!!!!

Communication

I fell asleep and accidently made the phone ring. Someone picked it up so I said..
"Hello. I am the chief of the Weh Thu-Foo Kawii Tribe. We don't know where we are."
WEH THU-FOO KAWII!!!!????"
Then I woke up without knowing where the Weh Thu-foo Kawii are.

Signs (Illustration fridaY)

Today I went whale-spotting in town. One of the sure signs of a whale is when it blows water with it's blow-hole.
"WHERE ARE YOU!!??" I shouted, "YOU CAN"T HIDE FROM ME.. I KNOW YOU'RE SOMEWHERE!!!"

Bird Spotting

"BLOW YER CUCKOO
YER BIG FAT COOT!!!".. I shouted...




"...THROW YER COCKATOO
AT A CLOCK OR TWO!!!"




"... STUFF YER BEAK
UP A PARAKEET !!!!"




I looked at it and it said nothing.




I shouted
"I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I WANT TO THROW
MY DECKCHAIR AT YO
BUT I AM ASLEEP-O
YOU DUCK-FACED BAT!!!!"

It was time to go home so I did.
"You don't control me I CONTROL YOU!!!

'Neighbour' (Illustration friday)

Mrs Abercrombie
Walks around the floor
She's become a zombie
And can't find the door.

If you (Mrs Abercrombie) had a turtle
It could be your friend
You could call it Myrtle
And go around the bend.