Monday, July 7, 2008

Written Film-Script-Poem

When I want you to know something so you to know what it is. I have been writing a film-script in a poem for two weeks and this is it..

"The Poem film"


orange table night and windmill

sardine on wall

piano looking

here comes

television turtle house.


Television Turtle House: "Sharon and Stacy
Are pigs"

Windmill: "I hate that."

Television Turtle House (holding rockets): "This is this." (suddenly he goes in the air to the shop).

Windmill: "Ha Ha."

Television Turtle House is back

through window

with a tea-cake

(everyone has a party) oh.


Sharon and Stacy

Become train drivers

They know how

The turtle

Can see


In the morning the door falls down
And the sardine drops off the wall.

The End

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Very Tired After Writing Song

I want you to know how tired I am after writing a song for two days, you can sing it to people...

'Tea Far Away'

see boat

with ant captain

driving about


robert and brenda

are fat cows



far tea

far tea

captain far tea ant


robert and brenda

are sailors


drive now

to go

ant and boat cow

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Very Tired After Poem

Hello. I am very tired after writing this poem all day, and I want you to know what it is...

'Citrus Citrus'

citrus pips

throw your pip

at the citrus


catch a bus

to throw your pip

at citrus


throw your hair

at the bear


say to ginger bus

and throw your pip

at some citrus

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Music For Jack

I want you to know and for Jack to know that this is a music video I've made for King Jack the Parrot who has had a strange time lately in Australia. I have been learning to play music with a local musician and we've made this to help Jack feel better...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Being In Grass

This is a day when I looked with Little Belmattron..

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Visitors

This film is classified top secret so don't tell anyone about it. Ssshhhhh.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Know Mind

BoiledEggInADeckchair: Hello salt.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: I want you to know what I will say to you.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: I will say to you that I know what you know because I can read your mind.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: Oh yes I can.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: You're thinking you want me to know that I don't know what you know.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: I've already proved it.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: No I'm not delusional, you are.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: I already know what Richard Dawkins thinks.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: He wants me to know I'm not doing this and I want him to know he can get stuffed but he thought he said that when I did.


BoiledEggInADeckchair: Yes he did, he used all of his head.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


I can control things with my teapot. Sometimes I say to my friend Perriette "I want you to know, Perriette, I am controlling you with my teapot and I want you to have a proper shave for once." Then she does.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


I want you to know that I had a strange Christmas and have been hiding for a while but this film will explain everything unless when you see it and you don't know what to know. How do I know.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I am saying to you that I have eaten a page out of my diary and I must disappear for a week because I ate this week.

I will be back unless I eat more pages.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Return In The Park

I want you to see by looking at this film that I am saying to you that I know I have returned from space and you will know it too when you see this film because I landed in a park not far from where I live...

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Ground Control To BoiledEggInADeckchair

I want you to know that I want to say what I am saying now.. I have found a corner in space where I'm posting this to my blog by using my mind (without a teapot) and saying this at the same time. The view is good and Timothy Leary floats by quite often. I've been writing a poem about it..

Dossed In Space

We're all floating
All around
It's like boating
Above the ground.

They call it space
And I see why
(It's a big place)
Not like a pie.

Space is round
And bent
There is sound
But no cement.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


I don't know if I'm dreaming about fishing or dancing about dreaming, only the Magic Cog knows the truth.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Thinking With Bruce

Bruce said he was thinking about thinking and what it was. I said I like thinking too, except on Tuesdays. He said it was difficult to see thinking, but thought it was a hairy house that buries bones in it's back garden. But he did'nt know what town it was in.

I told Bruce I thought only the hairy house would know where it lived, but only when it was thinking about itself.

We decided to both think together about thinking so we might hear it thinking, and find out where it was.

We thought we heard something, but thought we might have just thought it. Then we heard it again, but were'nt sure if it was a memory.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Tricky Sky

I should think the sky is made of invisible plums that walk about on stilts, and the clouds are the tables where they have their dinner. The plums paint themselves blue so we can see them, and they talk to us in a way that cannot be heard.

"BoiledEggInADeckchair, are you dreaming about us?" asked an invisible plum.
"I can't hear you, so I can't say if I am or not," I replied.
"We are having some sandwiches on the clouds, you can have one if you like."
"Oh. Okay then."
They gave me a curly piss sandwich and laughed at me. They should'nt mess about with sandwiches because it's too serious, and I don't imagine apricots would behave like that.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Ghosts Are Real

This photo shows what an Australian ghost looks like and proves they exist and that they are nearly as scary as living Australians. It said...

"Gidday yer pommie cobba bastard, I don't wanna piss in yer pocket but it's been hard yakka since I karked and I ain't no Fred nerk I'm fair dinkum and full as a boot."
"Pardon?" I said.
"Yeah I can't hop into the grub for a snag any more and me apricots are jaked but I hav'nt seen any white pointers anyway phwwooaaahhh I just cut the dog in half and ripped me freckle..." etc etc.

It was speaking an unusual language and had a ballon and pisses 'amber' whilst it flies around.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

My New World

Today I found some new planets in town, then I decided to live on one on a part-time basis. I'm going to call it Boris and visit it when I need a break.

Here I'm telling Boris that I control it now and I will be sight-seeing and relaxing occasionally.



Thursday, August 16, 2007

Ginger Rage

'Hello," I said "I like your face."

"I thought it was a ginger biscuit. Some people call them ginger nuts, I expect you've seen them."

"I imagine you like a big ginger beer sometimes.. Oh well I better go now, I need to buy some ginger-bread men."

I can't seem to talk to some people these days without upsetting them.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Teapot Power

I was looking at a sign that was looking at me.

"Hello here there and everywhere," said a voice behind me.
"Teapot Me it's you!" I replied.
"I want you to know," he continued "that I want to talk and say to you and tell you something by saying it to you when I'm talking."
"Oh good."

"I will demonstrate what Teapot Power is capable of by saying the Special Words," he said.
"Hurry up then," I replied.

STUFF IT EVERYWHERE!!!" he shouted. "Now, look at the sign and see what it says."

"That is a wonderful power, Teapot Me!" I exclaimed.
"Yes it is mighty indeed. Now I must rest for a day and a night.. farewell," and he was gone. I went inside and shouted "TEAPOT POWER!!!" and kept doing what the sign said until they threw me out.

Saturday, August 11, 2007


I don't fly any more because the last time I did the stewardess said to me..
"I can make your seat higher." But I thought she said "I have started a fire."
"OH NO!!" I replied.
I decided the best thing to do was open the door and fly away, so I did.

I could only fly downwards and I crashed through the roof of the Accident & Emergency Egg Hospital, which was lucky except my deckchair was bent.

Friday, August 3, 2007

In The Sky

I was relaxing on holiday a couple of weeks ago, minding my own business, when I noticed something in the sky that had someone in it.
"Hello BoiledEggInADeckchair," it said.
"Hello'" I replied.
"I am The Keeper of The Gateway of Wishes."
"Answer three questions correctly and you win a wish that I will grant you."
"Get stuffed."
"The first question is, what do you do when you are very hungry?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. What does a chicken do before it goes in the oven?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. If you were a rabbit-hole and a fat rabbit walked in, what would you do?"
"Get stuffed."
"Correct. You have won a wish, what is it you want me to do for you?"
"Get stuffed."
"Very well I shall, farewell."
"AT LAST!!!"

Monday, July 30, 2007

Eye Pipe

This is an eye pipe that makes it possible to see things that cannot be seen without it, and this person makes it possible for me to see with it.

I looked in the pipe and saw a big ball and wondered who lived on it.

"HELLOOO!!!" I shouted in the pipe.

"HELLOOO!!!" shouted a voice from the sky (it sounded like me).

Sunday, July 29, 2007

My Holiday Photos

Hello. I want you to know these are my holiday photos seeing as Perriette mentioned them. But I am not being controlled by Perriette because I control her with my teapot.

The seagulls filled the sky.

An alien crosses the road on Monday. It might have been going to work, I don't know.

Swans are'nt hairy but I like them.

There was a cat.

There was a window.

A flying tent.

A tortoise crosses the beach.

I saw the sea.

That's some of what happened whilst I was there, nothing happened at home until I got back.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Poem (iLlustratiOn fridaY)

I hate poems and I write them sometimes. This one I wrote whilst hating it..

"The Wind Hates My Umbrella And I Hate The Wind"

'You blow your bag of wind and air
At me through an invisible pip
My umbrella is now over there
Because you hate to see me with it.

I hate you wind
I hate you.

Get stuffed."

Sunday, July 22, 2007


It was a peaceful day with no-one about, so I shouted